The journey of a nostalgic millennial blogger

Just do it, I thought at first. Open the laptop, write wherever you feel like at the moment, and press the button to publish it. Just release your voice to the world and don’t overthink about the afterward. This was a recurrent inner dialogue with my self-consciousness, which was often followed by the fear of being exposed and vulnerable. Therefore, I kept brainstorming for a while (not to say, for years…), trying to find my space online. Again.

I’ve always enjoyed writing. During my childhood and teenage years, you could often find me writing daily entries in my personal and extremely secretive diary. Hopefully, my mom never found it while cleaning my room. It was something so precious that it even used to have a name. It actually felt like I was talking to a pen-friend. I used to share what happened at school, my very first love (from whom I still have a letter glued to one of my diaries), and it naturally evolved to a more abstract concept of journaling. At eighteen years old, I started to blog and share my passion for photography. It was the era of bloggers. The very beginning of it. Everyone was just doing it as a hobby, for fun. I made a lot of friends during that period, who also had the same interests. To me, blogging was just a way of expression. A platform to share my thoughts and have instant feedback and validation – in a positive way. It felt like a secure and beautiful place to be, with no judgment.

At some point, blogging became something serious, and the pressure to keep up the numbers and visitors was on. You had to have a clean layout and a professional presence, which was never my thing. I tried to do my best and asked for help to improve my reach. In the process, I ended up meeting my husband who helped me to understand the new tendency and structure a plan – I never wanted to quit, since my blog was still a precious space. As such, I started to change a few aspects and decided to focus on travel content and photography tips – which I truly loved! I even tried to make a few travel vlogs. Occasionally, I would write about movies and books, but nothing too personal, even though I felt the need to talk about different topics, as such my journey as a new grad nurse and philosophic daydreams. It seemed no one really cared.

I just kept being on and off, while my favorite blogs were being deleted. Sometimes, I ask myself about that math teacher who lived in Africa with her children, the girl who was trying to become a doctor in Spain, and the other one who was sharing the struggles of an immigrant in England. Most of them migrated to other platforms and the blogging community was then something considered cringe. And maybe, it was indeed.

As life went on, I ended up being uncomfortable to share my life as I used to. But the truth is you can take a beautiful photograph and share it online, you can even register every move of your day and still keep a certain distance and superficiality. This is not a criticism of any kind. It’s just a way of living with this avalanche of social media and different platforms that promote a necessity of immediatism. But to me, it is lacking something more profound and important: the connection. We have so many ways to be in contact with each other, but no real connection is truly in place. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one feeling this.

The pandemic and motherhood were a turn-point. I had, as many of us did, to learn to live in the moment and search for a positive mindset. In my case, my mental health is extremely aligned with my need for eternize moments and the nostalgic trait of reliving my struggles and conquers through writing and photographs. Consequently, I’m now at a moment in my life where I’m not worried about the outcomes. My aspiration is to dedicate time to my writing and cursive skills, and then have the compromise to reflect on my daily life, as I used to back until my twenties. I was so much more aware of my surroundings.

In my thirties, my blogging style may be quite different. You can expect a chaotic diversity of topics. One day I may be sharing my favourite recipe of Portuguese food and the next day I’m complaining about the hard life of a toddler’s mum with a tight work schedule as an intensive care nurse while trying to build a country house from scratch and considering going back to university to complete my studies. Not that much travel anymore, I guess.

What a mess, isn’t it? Well, I’ll try to make it as pretty as possible.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *